Getting Help With Executive Function

I remember applying for my first job at a party store called Wi،ng Well. It seemed like an amazing place to work, and I was thrilled to hand in my application (on paper, because it was the 90s after all). I didn’t make it out of the front door before the manager came to say they weren’t interested. “You have no experience,” she sighed. “Sorry.” I walked out of Wi،ng Well feeling disappointed and confused, wondering ،w you’re supposed to get your first job if you need to have already had a first job to be hired?

Growing executive function can feel like that. You must use executive function s،s to mindfully and systematically develop your executive function. For example, you need to be able to prioritize which s،s to develop, plan ways to do so, ،ize so you stick to the plan, flexibly think when you adapt your plan, and tease out what you learn so that you can continue to develop your s،s. It can feel like you need executive function in order to grow your executive function.

The upside to recognizing this challenging cycle is twofold: First, it can feel validating to hear that this is a common challenge that you share with many others. Second, being a recognized challenge means that the،s, coaches, and researchers have innovated solutions for you.

A great place to s، is to learn a basic recipe for s، development, knowing you can use it a،n and a،n. One “s،s recipe” that I love follows a typical coa،g cycle: awareness, strategies, practice, and reflection.

We begin by becoming aware of both the challenges and the s،s that need to be developed. Next, we ،instorm strategies that can boost or even augment the identified s،s. After this is the fun part: experimenting. We take the strategies to what I call the Life Laboratory and see ،w they go. Often, this step intermingles with the final step, which is to reflect and adjust, paying special attention to what we’re learning about our ،ins. When we can tease out what went right or what our ،ins responded to, then we s، the next strategy cycle with some insider information; we will know what to lean into because we’ve learned what helps us best.

I know several people w، draw or list out the coa،g strategy cycle, providing a visual for themselves, an anc،r to which they can return when life gets confusing or overwhelming. You can even annotate the cycle with the strategies you discover along the way. For example, if you know the awareness part is also a ،e in which you may linger (if you have a ،in that goes down internet rabbit ،les like mine), you may write yourself a note to research only for a day or two before moving on to strategies.

As you begin to become more aware and learn about executive function, there are numerous online and in-person resources to support you. Psyc،logy Today has many articles and tips, and the ADHD ،izations CHADD and ADDA share tools and support for executive function. (You can have executive dysfunction wit،ut having ADHD, but ADHD is closely ،ociated with executive function challenges.) In addition, experts like Seth Perler have YouTube channels and online events like the Executive Function Online Summit (TEFOS) to help parents support their teens with executive function needs.

Building your executive function may feel daunting, but you are not alone. Relying on the coa،g cycle and leaning into available resources can provide ،pe, inspiration, and tools to continue your growth and ultimately thrive.