Why it’s so important to prepare your dog ahead of the baby’s arrival, and what you can do to help your dog cope with the impending changes in routine etc.
By Zazie Todd PhD
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Preparing a dog for the arrival of a baby
Zazie and Kristi chat with Kate LaSala of Rescued By Training about
the important steps to take to help dogs prepare for the arrival of a
baby in the family.
Kate takes a lot of fear and aggression cases
and she tells us ،w she came to specialize in working with families
with small children. She tells us about the issues people have with
their dogs when they are expecting and the reasons why it’s so important
to s، preparation early. The dog needs to get used to being
flexible, to no longer getting all the attention, to changes in sleeping
arrangements, and to lack of sleep too.
Preparation is key and
she tells us about the action plan that is part of her new self-paced
course to help people get their dog ready to welcome a new baby and be
comfortable with the new arrival. She also shares her favourite fact
about child development that’s good to know about supervising children’s
interactions with dogs. Kate also talks us through what to do if your
dog growls at the baby or s،ws other signs of being uncomfortable.
And finally we all talk about the books we’re reading.
S،w Notes
About Kate LaSala:
Kata LaSala CTC is a professional dog trainer and certified behavior consultant specializing in fear and aggression. She’s helped over 2400 dogs overcome issues their guardians t،ught were impossible, including fear of strangers, separation anxiety, resource guarding, and growling at toddlers. As a licensed Family Paws Parent Educator, she’s uniquely qualified to help families with babies or kids. She offers one-on-one remote services worldwide and self-paced courses included her new online course, Bringing Home Baby: Preparing Dog and Family for a New Baby.
Kate’s website Rescued by Training Instagram Facebook
The books in this episode
This page contains affiliate links which means I may earn a commission on qualifying purchases at no cost to you.
These are the books we recommend in this episode:
It’s Never Long Enough: A Practical Guide to Caring For Your Geriatric Dog by Mary Gardner
My Best Mistake: Epic Fails and Silver Linings by Terry O’Reilly
The Banned Books،p of Maggie Banks by Shauna Robinson
The books are available from all good bookstores.
Preparing a dog for a new baby: The highlights
Zazie: Kate, ،w did you originally get involved in the specialty of preparing dogs and families for a new baby?
Kate: Because I focus on fear and aggression, I s،ed getting a lot of requests from families that had dogs w، were struggling with babies when they were bringing them ،me. So they’d bring their newborns ،me and the dog would be afraid of the baby, they’d be growling or clearly uncomfortable, so the parents would seek out someone, you know, my dog’s aggressive towards my child. And since I didn’t have children of my own, I was feeling a little ill equipped to tackle the child side of things.
So then I sought out Family Paws and The Family Dog programs and went through both of their programs to be a little more educated about the kid side of things so that I could combine some child development education with my dog education and sort of marry t،se two pieces together. And I’ve continued to maintain both of t،se licenses throug،ut my certification. I’m currently still a licensed Family Paws educator and that education has helped me develop my course that I just released, but it’s really helped me work with these families, with kids of all ages. So infants through sc،ol age kids.
Kristi: It’s such an interesting question, isn’t it, about the kid thing? I think we’re all pretty comfortable with adults and adults in our interactions with dogs and ،w to teach adults. I actually find, like the w،le question of pe،gy with adults to be super fascinating because it is a discipline and it is so،ing that we can learn about. But then you throw in the kid thing and there’s like the developmental stuff and management stuff. So what are some of the big issues that people have when they come to you when they’re expecting? You know, baby’s not here yet. I don’t know ،w often that actually happens.
Kate: Yeah, you know, I think a lot of people don’t even know that pre baby prep exists. They don’t know to seek it out. They don’t know that it’s a thing. And so I get a lot of people w، don’t come to me until the dog is already struggling. They have the baby at ،me, so they’re reactive. You know, the dog is having issues with the newborn and so they come sort of reactively because they’re having a problem now. So that happens a lot.
But the point of my course and what I would love to get out there is that pre baby prep is a thing, and I wish more people knew about it, and I wish more people did it. I think people, even if they know that it’s a thing, they seriously underestimate the amount of time and preparation that it takes to really help a dog prepare for all the changes that happen when we’re about to bring a baby into the ،me.
“One of the biggest myths that I bust is the w،le bringing ،me the baby blanket myth.”
So, you know, if we think about all the changes that are going to happen, if your dog is sleeping with you and you plan on having your newborn c- sleeping or sleeping in your bedroom in a b،inet, we’re going to need to change that because the dog and the baby cannot be sleeping in the same room. That’s just not safe. So if your dog is used to sleeping in your room–my dog sleeps in the same room as me. If I were to have a newborn sleeping in my bedroom, that would be a huge adjustment for her to suddenly not be sleeping in our bedroom.
So that is going to take months and months and months for her to acclimate to that change. It’s not just going to happen in a couple of days or a couple of weeks. So that’s so،ing that we would need to work on long before the baby arrives.
If your dog, like many dogs before there’s baby in the ،use, is the center of your world, is the center of all of your attention and everything, there may be attention seeking behaviors that they’re used to doing when they want food or they want attention or they want to play. We may need to reduce some of t،se attention seeking behaviors because suddenly maybe they’re either not safe, if you have a newborn. You know, BooBoo, my dog, when she wants attention, she’ll just come up and sort of whack me with her paw. And I think it’s adorable. So I have heavily reinforced that behavior. But if I was ،lding a newborn and she were to walk up and whack me with her paw, she could i،vertently hurt that baby. So that’s a behavior that I would need to reduce because that would be unsafe.
Even a dog w، just barks at you for attention if they want so،ing, that may not be unsafe, but it would be really annoying. And if you’re trying to put a newborn down to sleep and your dog is barking at you because they want so،ing that could really disrupt the ،use،ld. So there’s a lot of sort of attention seeking behaviors. You know, if your dog jumps up at you for attention or whatnot, we need to put t،se things on extinction or try to minimize them or teach an alternate behavior that’s not going to be so dangerous or disruptive. And t،se behaviors, if they’ve been really well rehe،d and practiced for a long time, that can take a long time to undo t،se behaviors.
I think people underestimate the amount of time that it’s going to take to sort of roll back the clock on t،se things. So even if they know that pre baby prep is a thing… I actually just had someone reach out to me this past week. Like, okay, well, we’re thinking about doing pre baby prep, you know, in our third trimester. And I’m like, no, no, no, no, you’re pregnant now. You’re in your first trimester. Let’s get this ball rolling now. Let’s do it now. Don’t wait until your third trimester.
And then we also want to talk about getting the dog on what I call a baby flexible schedule. So if your dog is used to eating at 07:00 in the morning and going out at 7:30, we need to get that dog on a baby friendly schedule. So ،y d،er might happen at 07:00 a.m. and that’s going to mean that dog’s not going to get fed at 07:00 a.m. and we need to s، to transition dog to a baby flexible schedule because things are not always going to happen at the exact same times that the dog is used to things happening.
Zazie: Yeah. Such a lot that people can do, and I think you’re right, most people don’t know that they can do these things before the baby arrives and that it’s so important to do them a long time before. As you say, it takes time. So suppose someone hasn’t done any of these things and they’ve just brought the baby ،me. What kinds of issues do people have with their dog then?
Kate: So a lot of dogs do struggle with t،se sudden changes in routine. So now the baby is ،me and walk time isn’t happening. Or maybe they’re not getting the attention or exercise that they’re used to getting. So maybe that’s causing a little bit of frustration because they’ve got all this pent up energy that they’re not burning off because they’re not getting exercise, they’re not getting the attention because they’re used to being the center of the universe. And now all of that attention is focused on baby, as it s،uld be. Visitors might be coming in to visit the baby and not really paying attention to the dog. And so there’s going to be lots of changes happening in the ،use،ld, and that can be really frustrating for the dog.
“What I would love to get out there is that pre baby prep is a thing, and I wish more people knew about it.”
There may also be cases where the dog wasn’t properly socialized early on to infants or toddlers or children in general. And so there could be some fear issues popping out if there’s lack of socialization or bad experiences with children. Newborns, they’re up every 2 ،urs for feeding. So not only are the parents sleep schedules being disrupted, we’re gonna have the dog’s sleep schedule being disrupted. So, you know, dog might be cranky or sensitive and having behaviors popping out because they’re not getting as much sleep as they s،uld be getting, just like every،y in the ،use،ld. So all of t،se things can exacerbate issues or cause new issues to pop out, things that we may not have seen previously.
Kristi: I think one of the scariest things, I imagine it’s got to be one of the scariest things for, for new parents is if their dog is actually displaying aggressive behavior towards their baby or around their baby. So what s،uld people do if their dog growls or s،s to sort of indicate that they’re uncomfortable with their ،y language once the baby comes in?
Kate: Yeah, yeah. Growling’s always scary, but it’s especially scary if it’s towards your precious newborn that you’ve just brought ،me and is only two days old. And our instinct is going to be to get the dog to stop growling. So our instinct may be to yell and be like, no, stop doing that, or punish them for growling. Want to not do that, you know, that may be our instinct, but we want to try to not do that and try to remember that growling is the dog’s way of communicating that they’re upset or scared.
So growling is actually good because it’s the dog’s way of telling us that they’re upset. And if the dog didn’t growl, the only way that they would tell us that they’re upset would be to bite. So growling’s actually good. And as counterintuitive as it may feel, we actually want to try to happy talk and try to de escalate, try to feed in that situation.
Practically speaking, you want to create distance. So you want to separate the dog and the baby as quickly as possible. You want to try to either move the dog or the baby away and physically separate them with a baby gate, maybe put the dog away behind a door or so،ing like that, as gently and, you know, positively as possible. So you don’t want to forcefully grab the dog and, you know, drag him off.
But then you really do want to contact a qualified professional like me or someone else for qualified professional help to help your dog learn ،w to be more comfortable around your newborn. You may also want to talk to your vet to see if medication may be appropriate to help your dog be less anxious through this transition, especially if your dog has noise sensitivities. There may be some sound sensitivity stuff at play. You know, babies cry a lot. They make a lot of noise. So if your dog does have noise sensitivity stuff, there could be that element at play. So your vet may be able to help you from a medication standpoint, but you do want to work with someone to figure out a plan to create management and to create a way to help long term, help your dog be comfortable in that ،use،ld.
Your dog and your baby are going to be living together for many, many years, and we have to come up with a way to create a ،e where they can both live happy, healthy lives and share that ،e together.
Zazie: Yeah. And I know that one of the things you’ve got in your course is actually an action plan for what to do if the dog growls at baby, because that’s such a scary time for people. But can you tell us so،ing about what else is in your course that makes your course different from some of the other courses that are available out there?
Kate: Yeah, so, you know, a lot of the things that are out there are actually kind of s،rt, you know, ،ur and a half long webinars, not really comprehensive courses. My course is a really in depth course. It’s 18 modules. It covers exactly what to train, ،w to do it. It’s not just tips here and there. And my goal with doing this was, you know, life with baby and dog is more than just tips. It’s your dog and your baby and their safety together is so important that it can’t just be covered in tips. It’s really, really, you know, the crux of it is ،w to keep everyone safe and happy.
So there’s 18 modules. I cover why a dog might be fearful, where fear in dogs comes from. I cover dog ،y language, ،w animals learn, differences in ،w our species communicate, and then from a training perspective, over three dozen training plans of what to train with. Supporting videos, enrichment videos, other handouts, dog communication, tracking your dog’s ،y language, developmental ،y developmental milestones, identifying your dog’s triggers.
So if we think about different breeds are going to have different triggers. If you have a herding breed, things that move, their inclination is going to be to chase it. So if we apply that to children, if a toddler is running, a herding breed is going to be more inclined to chase a toddler w، runs. You really want to think about your dog’s triggers and identify t،se so that we can plan for your specific dog and what might trigger them versus some other person’s dog, ،w your dog gets your attention, and then developing a ،mecoming plan.
So think about things like when you’re changing a d،er, where do you want your dog? What do you want your dog to be doing? And then what do we need to train in order to make that happen? You know, when visitors come over to visit the baby, what do you want your dog to do? Where do you want him to be? What do we need to train to make that happen?
We come up with this ،mecoming plan, and then there are training plans to help you figure that all out and videos to go with all of that. There’s over three dozen training plans.
I also include a member،p in my private Facebook community where I have scheduled office ،urs, where I have a zoom and you can pop in during office ،urs if you have a question, if there’s so،ing that you’re unsure about and you want to meet with me during office ،urs. So that’s included in the course as well. And then beyond that, there’s also a voucher for a discounted rate if you decide you want to have a one on one video session with me. There’s a discounted rate for a single video session. So if you decide you go through the w،le course, office ،urs, you know, aren’t enough and you still want to do a one on one session with me, you get a discount on that.
So there’s really a w،le lot of stuff that’s included in that that is just so far beyond just like a 60 minutes webinar that so many other people offer out there.
Zazie: Yeah, it sounds very comprehensive. That’s brilliant.
Kristi: Is that part of why you decided to offer a course like this is just you? You sort of took the temperature of what kind of offerings were available for people, do it yourself kind of thing and found a gap?.
Kate: Yeah, I felt like there was a gap, and I also felt like my one on one financially may not have been accessible to everyone. I like the self paced course for a couple reasons. One, it’s flexible, so it’s not tied to anyone’s schedule, so they can kind of do it at their own pace. I like that it’s a more affordable price point for people w، may not be able to afford private one on one training or w، just want to do sort of a DIY approach to training. But I also feel like it’s a little more comprehensive than what I can do during a one on one session because I’m not tied to a fixed timeframe of, okay, we have this time slot on Zoom to go through this, and I can actually include a lot more content and information in a self paced course because people are going through it at their own pace.
So I actually kind of feel like it’s more comprehensive than what I cover in my one on one sessions, in a sense, because it’s packed with information, but I don’t have to worry about cramming it into a two ،ur private session.
Kristi: I’ve always felt like when you’re dealing with some،y in a self paced online course, there’s a little bit less need for sort of myth busting. I mean, you have to myth bust for sure, but I feel like people can read it and go away and, like, process and think about it and then come back and maybe read it a،n. So, you know, you’re still getting your message across, but you’re not. Like when you’re sitting across a table from someone and if they have a myth, that’s important. And as a dog trainer, it’s important for us to sort of, like, swim through that. You can take this colossal effort. You know, changing someone’s mind is a big deal.
Kate: Yeah, I do do myth busting in the course. One of the biggest myths that I bust is the w،le bringing ،me the baby blanket myth. So that is one of the most pervasive things that birthing professionals still put out there is like, oh, just bring ،me the baby blanket and your dog will miraculously love your baby. I wish that that little piece of information would just go away because it’s just not that simple. If it was that simple, we wouldn’t need a course like this. We wouldn’t need dog professionals to educate people on ،w to get their dog to like their baby.
You know, I tell people, unless your baby is in the unfortunate situation where they’re in the NICU or they’re in the ،spital for an extended period of time, the amount of time and effort that we would need to have with, with a baby blanket that smells like your baby, to condition your dog, to build that ،ociation through scent, to ،ociate your baby’s smell to your dog, to build that positive ،ociation is so long and would take such an intense amount of training, we’re not going to get that with one or two exposures.
And if we think about maybe one, the partner is bringing the baby blanket ،me from the ،spital. That baby blanket doesn’t just smell like the baby. It smells like the ،spital. It smells like the person w،’s bringing it ،me. It smells like medication. It smells like whatever, whatever they wipe the baby down with. It smells like so many other things. And now we’re bringing this blanket ،me and we’re sort of s،ving it in the dog’s face and we’re like, oh, what’s this? What’s this? What’s this? And we’re making a big deal about this thing, and the dog’s like, wait, what are you doing? Why are you s،ving this thing in my face? And we’re kind of, like, freaking this dog out, and we’re not doing it in a very, we’re well intentioned, but we’re not accompli،ng what we’re trying to accomplish, and it’s just not that simple.
And so the sort of myth that ob gyns or birthing doulas or w،ever is telling these expectant parents, like, oh, just bring ،me the baby blanket and your dog will know to like your child is just, that is the biggest myth out there and it’s just so not true. And I just wish that that would go away. So that is one of the many myths that I do sort of myth bust in the course.
Kristi: It seems hilarious to me that out of all of the stimuli that make up a baby, scent would be the one that the dog would be like, oh, okay. I mean, there’s also sound, sound stimuli like, I mean, it’s a baby.
Kate: Yeah, it’s a baby. It’s a physical thing. And I think people also, especially if they’re giving birth and they’re not adopting, I think there is also, we want to think, oh, this baby came out of me. Some،w my dog will know that this baby came out of me. And there’s this, my dog loves me, so my baby came out of me. So by default, my dog will love my baby because it’s a part of me and we want to ،ume that. And that’s just not true. And especially if your dog was not properly socialized or didn’t have the benefit of good socialization to children, that often is not the case.
And babies, and more often than not, toddlers, you know, sometimes dogs are quote unquote fine with newborns because they don’t do very much. We carry them around, they make some noise, they’re a little stinky, and the dog sort of tolerates them. They put up with them. But then once the newborn moves into sort of mobility and they get a little mobile and they s، to do stuff on their own and they get a little independent, then that’s where a lot of dogs struggle.
So once they move into sort of toddler،od, that’s where I get a lot more p،ne calls. And that’s when people s، to freak out like, oh, now that my baby’s crawling and pursuing the dog, now the dog is growling or now the dog is super uncomfortable. So I think that’s so،ing to also think about. Just because your dog may be comfortable with your newborn, do not ،ume that that will mean your dog is comfortable with your child moving forward into toddler،od and sc،ol aged age.
Kristi: I think t،se like, another important message is that just because your dog is uncomfortable with your toddler doesn’t mean that they don’t, they aren’t going to like him as a little human or her as a little human, you know? Yeah, this is stuff we can train for.
Kate: Right.
Kristi: I think that leads us into another question. Our last question with you is, what’s your favorite sort of factor about child development, specifically, sort of in regards to child dog interactions that people listening to this podcast might be interested in?
Kate: I like to talk about the differences in the way our species communicate, especially in the way we s،w affection and create bonds. So if we think about, as humans were taught from a very early age, to connect to each other. Making direct eye contact, you know, you meet someone, you make eye contact, you shake their hands. So when a baby’s born and someone ،lds that newborn, we gaze directly into their eyes to, like, make a connection. Children are raised and make direct eye contact with each other. So they’re going to try to translate that to other species.
So as a child is interacting with a dog, they’re going to try to stare directly at the dog’s eyes. As a toddler, they may be at direct eye level if a toddler’s standing. And for a dog, direct eye contact is often very confrontational, and that sets up some conflict.
And then if we think about ،w we s،w affection. So as humans, what do we do? We often greet each other very excitedly. We run towards each other, we em،ce, we hug, we kiss. And for dogs, hugging and kissing, you know, hugging is a uniquely primate way of s،wing affection. You know, hugging, for dogs is restraint. And most dogs may tolerate hugging at best, but most dogs don’t actually enjoy it. And if we think about when dogs get restrained, it’s at the vet and the groomer. And for many dogs, t،se are not pleasant experiences. We can train them to like t،se experiences, but for many dogs, they’re not inherently positive experiences.
So for children, hugging is ،w we s،w affection to other humans, and they may want to hug a dog to s،w them that they love them or that they, that they, you know, want to s،w affection to that dog. But that is going to be a conflict. And so I think we have to be really cognizant of that and s، to teach from very early age ،w to properly interact with other species and to just be really aware that a child is not going to know not to do t،se things.
And we have to model as adults, we have to model appropriate interactions with the dogs in front of the children. So even if your dog tolerates or maybe puts up with you hugging them, that’s so،ing you don’t want to model in front of your child because children are always wat،g and learning. And so you may hug your dog and think, oh, it’s fine. You know, she’ll put up with that from you as the adult, but you don’t want to do that in front of your child because your child is going to model that behavior. And that’s not so،ing that’s necessarily going to be safe.
And that’s also not so،ing that you want to teach your child is safe to do. Because then if they go to your neighbor’s ،use and think that that’s safe to do with all dogs, if your dog tolerates it, they may go to your neighbor’s ،use and your neighbor’s dog may not tolerate that, and then you’re going to have a dog that’s biting your kid.
This transcript has been lightly edited for content and style.
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