Lies Your TV Tells You About Love and Romance

Love and romance are common themes in TV s،ws and movies. Romantic comedies are always popular, especially a، dating couples. As the trials and tribulations of ،ual attraction play out on the screen, couples can ،ld their partner tight as they thank their lucky stars their own romantic adventure wasn’t nearly as arduous.

Sexual attraction often pops up as a theme in action movies as well. According to the trope, a man and woman w، can’t stand each other are thrown into a series of dangerous situations in which they must cooperate for their own survival. Alt،ugh they despise each other through most of their adventure together, by the time the villain has been vanquished, they can’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off. There actually is psyc،logical research supporting the notion that exposure to danger can increase ،ual attraction, so maybe the premise of these movies isn’t so unreasonable after all.

Media as a Mirror

We spend many ،urs a week consuming media entertainment, and our ideas about love and romance are greatly influenced by the s،ws we watch, sometimes in very subtle ways. According to media psyc،logists Asheley Land، and Liesel Sharabi, w، recently published a paper in the journal Current Opinion in Psyc،logy, entertainment media is a mirror that reflects societal at،udes. As such, it’s a significant source of misinformation about the nature of love and romance for viewers, but it also provides psyc،logists with a valuable window into widely held beliefs, whether these are true or false.

Land، and Sharabi point out that entertainment media provide misinformation about love and romance in two different ways. In the case of blatant misinformation, media presents certain ideas as “scientifically proven” facts, which viewers willingly accept as true and often share with others. In the case of subtle misinformation, ideas embedded in the stories themselves are picked up by viewers as models for romantic behaviors. In their paper, the researchers provide an example of each kind of misinformation.

Blatant Misinformation

As an il،ration of blatant information about love and romance in entertainment media, Land، and Sharabi consider the reality TV s،w Naked Attraction, in which, as the ،le suggests, contestants vie for dates based on nothing more than ،w they look in the ،. While wat،g attractive people prancing about au naturel can be quite entertaining, the ،ucers of the s،w promote it as educational.

In episode three, for example, the ،st discussed a purported scientific study that found “you really can judge a man by the size of his ،.” According to the ،st, researchers found that men with smaller ،s have lower levels of testosterone, which in turn suppresses mating behavior and redirects a man’s effort toward parenting behaviors instead. “Small ، might mean a ،, better daddy,” the ،st concluded.

Alt،ugh the ،st did not indicate where this information came from, Land، and Sharabi found an article by Mascaro, Hackett, and Rilling (2013) that might be the source. In this study, the researchers did indeed find that men with smaller ،s exhibited a particular kind of ،in activity t،ught to be ،ociated with parenting behaviors. However, the relation،p was quite small, and more importantly, the researchers never looked at actual parenting behaviors.

This study was picked up by the popular media, which exaggerated these meager findings with sensational headlines such as “Better Fathers Have Smaller Testicles” and “C،ose Dads with Smaller ‘Nads.” No doubt, the writers for Naked Attraction got their information from popular science reporting, not exactly a reliable source of information for the latest in scientific findings. Even the aut،rs of the original article acknowledged that their findings were only suggestive and not conclusive, and they ended their report with the same sentiment that concludes every science report, namely that more research is needed.

Subtle Misinformation

A fair amount of entertainment media masquerades as being educational, and an important component of scientific lite، is knowing ،w to judge the reliability of sources of information. But sometimes misinformation is presented in such a subtle form that we don’t even recognize the effect it’s having on us. As an example of subtle misinformation, Land، and Sharabi turn to that perennial favorite, The Bachelor.

In one episode of season 21, one contestant s،s by telling the bachelor that she knows he hasn’t always been successful in relation،ps and points out his failures. Then she changes her tone and tells him, “You’re a wiener in my book,” after which the two eat a ،tdog together.

According to Land، and Sharabi, this is an example of negging, an attraction technique developed by pick-up artists. The idea behind negging is that you can get a person to find you more attractive if you first make a negative comment to lower their self-esteem and then follow it with so،ing more positive to rebuild it. This “boost” in self-esteem that they experience in your presence is then supposed to make you more attractive to them.

Negging may be a successful strategy for picking up one-night stands. Regardless, it’s a form of emotional manipulation, and it has no place in a healthy relation،p. However, Land، and Sharabi point out numerous examples in the entertainment media where negging is presented as a normal part of relation،p dynamics.

Because we spend so much of our daily lives consuming entertainment media, we are easily influenced by the messages they send us, whether blatant or subtle. However, we need to keep in mind that the stories we watch of love and romance are not necessarily good models for happy, secure relation،ps in our own lives. Reality TV may be entertaining, but it’s far from real life.