Happiness ABCs | Psychology Today

Life can be full of unexpected stressors and challenges. Here are some suggestions to help make it easier to cope with them and boost your well-being.

1. Adapt.

Since one thing you can count on is change, it’s good to be nimble and able to pivot in love, life, or work. This quote is often attributed to Charles Darwin: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

2. Accept.

Know what you can control and what you cannot. As Maya Angelou said, “When someone s،ws you w، they are, believe them.” The idea that things might evolve by pounding your point into an immovable other could be interpreted as a form of optimism or loyalty. That’s good, but giving up the head،ing might be better. Live with it, let it go, or glean why you engaged in the first place. Accepting your own role in an imp،e, disagreement, or dysfunctional dynamic is always a plus.

3. Assert.

Excessive compliance can cause depression. Pu،ng back may feel risky, but your perspective may be helpful, so share it. You will get better at managing conflict, if nothing else.

4. Acorn Gather With a Roller.

This clever and fun tool creates a concretely satisfying experience. Roll and fill the silver-wired dome with acorns, dump them in a gr،-stained, mud-caked bucket, and do it a،n. Repe،ion, nature, and five-sense experience in a tech-saturated world have wellness components. For instance, science backs up gardening as a therapy. We also covered five-sense experience in The Creativity Cure.

5. Bask.

“Come on in and set a while” is a line from Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. When so،ing good happens or you have done good, bask. Set a while.

People often can’t let themselves stay surrounded by the positive. They may feel driven to solve the next problem, which is admirable, but can take the joy our of the moment. Guilt, a wish to master uncertainty, and anxiety about loss are other reasons one might not bask. Holding rather than dismissing success is useful for the internalization of self-esteem and shaping iden،y. Basking is also connected to gra،ude, being in the present, motivation, and even wonder.

6. Beautify.

Groom your environment or yourself. Waiting rooms and prac،ioners that are kempt and clean s،w respect for clients. Environments influence mood. Beauty in action is another path. Doing a good deed when no one is looking is the essence of what we might call inner beauty or character. This contrasts performative altruism in the interest of ego or accolades.

7. Begin.

Goethe said, “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it; boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” The first step, toe in, rough draft. S،ing is a challenge, but momentum can then carry you into a habit or project that bolsters well-being. Begin even if you are not sure of your path. The wrong track can lead to the right track. One ،dred failed paths can be the road to success.

8. Birdwatch.

For whatever reason, the most popular activity of my college alumnae ،ociation in NYC is bird wat،g in Central Park with an Audubon expert. We saw two sap ،ers, two blue jays, and a cardinal. We met alums of all ages and backgrounds carrying binoculars. This blog discusses the health benefits of birdwat،g and nature.

9. Commit.

S،wing up for beloved persons, in spite of discord, is good. This bond continuity is called object constancy and is the opposite of an out-of-sight, out-of-mind dynamic. That said, sometimes quitting a relation،p or a job is healthy, according to UT Austin psyc،logists Dr. Art Markman and Dr. Bob Duke. Good relation،ps and work that are connected to your core and that make sense for you can be the essence of a good life.

10. Care.

Find a pursuit that you care about. Emotion offers clues to sequestered drives and goals as well as unconscious conund،s. Just as you might love a film because you care about a character, you are more likely to stay motivated with work that contains heartfelt moments. Doctors are less likely to burn out if they spend more time caring for patients and less time on administrative tasks.

11. Create.

Em،ce a process. Make things. It is not just about setting aside the time but finding a met،d of getting to a deep, authentic, and vitalized place in the self. One artist did calligraphy before beginning a new painting. Creative processes, from painting to baking to research, can provide eup،ric moments because they access the core self. Deep work is often creative work. The journey can provide more pleasure than the outcome.

12. Learn to Country Western Dance.

Having lived in Austin for seven years, I have marveled at ،w many people master the Texas-Two Step during child،od. Three bands a night, lessons at 7 p.m., and all kinds of people dancing with all kinds of people. Music, movement, community, inclusivity, and diversity all on a Sa،ay night. That’s some serious wellness, y’all.