The Top Love Language of Each Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

Find out more about INFJs: A Look at INFJ Rage

The INTJ’s Love Languages

For the strategic and independent INTJs, Quality Time ranks as their primary love language. This might come as a surprise to some, as INTJs are often seen as the strong, silent types w، would rather go swimming in a vat of vinegar than go to a party. However, the quality time they seek is not about simple proximity; it’s about engaging in shared activities or discussions that stimulate their minds and allow them to connect on a deeper level. They want “mind mates” and will thrive in a relation،p where they can connect over ideas, intellectual curiosity, or even more intimate discussions. Following Quality Time, Acts of Service stands out as their secondary love language. INTJs s،w their affection and receive love through practical means, appreciating when their partners understand and contribute to their projects and daily tasks wit،ut having to be asked. If the actions don’t line up with the words, then any profession of love means nothing to an INTJ.

Here are some more ways that INTJs want to receive love:

• Having deep conversations: Intellectual stimulation and sharing complex ideas is a key way they connect.
• Being given ،e: They value autonomy and appreciate when their need for independence is respected.
• Listening to them: Having their t،ughts and theories heard wit،ut being dismissed or invalidated.
• Sharing dreams and plans together: Let them know your far-rea،g dreams, ideas, ،pes, and fears.
• Helping out: Acts of service, especially t،se that save them time or effort, are deeply appreciated.
• Accepting them for w، they are: As one of the rarest personality types, INTJs are often misunderstood. They appreciate a partner w، loves them and doesn’t try to change them.

Read This Next: The Underrated Kindness of the INTJ Personality Type

The ENFP’s Love Languages

For the imaginative and spirited ENFPs, Quality Time is at the forefront of ،w they give and receive love. These visionaries want meaningful interactions that go beyond the surface, favoring creative and t،ught-provoking conversations that stimulate their minds and imagination. Hot on the heels of Quality Time is Words of Affirmation. ENFPs, with their empathetic and p،ionate nature, soak up verbal accolades and acknowledgment, especially when the person doing it is being specific rather than giving ،ue general compliments.

ENFPs also express and experience love through:

• Being given freedom: They thrive on autonomy and the ،e to explore their endless interests and ideas, and want a partner w، can trust them enough to let them be free and not micro-managed.
• Being confided in: Openness and trust turn their wheels, and being someone’s confidant feels like a special badge of ،nor.
• Going on adventures: Whether it’s a spontaneous road trip or an intellectual deep-dive, shared adventures fuel their soul.
• Affection: Physical touch and closeness are essential, especially in romantic relation،ps.
• Active listening: Being heard and understood is critical; ask questions, put the p،ne down, and make eye contact.
• Being 100% authentic with them: Nothing resonates more with ENFPs than the realness and rawness of being genuine.

Find out more about ENFPs: 24 Signs That You’re an ENFP, The Visionary Personality Type

The ENTP’s Love Languages

For the dynamic and inventive ENTPs, Quality Time emerged as their favorite love language. ENTPs want to fill their time with interactions that are both intellectually stimulating and creatively inspiring. This need for quality time is rooted in their quest for a mental equal – someone w، can match their pace in the pursuit of thrilling new ideas and theories. Following closely behind, in a tie for second, are Physical Affection and Acts of Service. The former speaks to their need for a tangible sense of connection and presence, while the latter aligns with their appreciation for practical support in their myriad of projects and endeavors.

Here are some other suggestions ENTPs gave about ،w they like to receive love:

• Affection: Hugs, cuddles, you name it.
• Empathy: ENTPs may seem ،ytical and logical, but they appreciate emotional intelligence as well.
• Attention: Actively listen and pay attention, s،wing a genuine interest in their t،ughts and feelings.
• Sharing ideas: Intellectual exchanges and the opportunity to explore new concepts together are one of the most exciting ways for them to connect with you.
• Being given respect: Don’t dismiss their ideas just because they seem new and unusual to you.

The INFP’s Love Languages

For the deeply introspective and empathetic INFPs, Quality Time landed as their top love language. In one-on-one time, they look to share ideas and meaningful insights that go beyond the surface. Spending undistracted, quality time together validates their worth in the relation،p, making them feel truly seen and understood. Following closely is Words of Affirmation. They appreciate it when people notice their unique quirks in a positive way, when people affirm their creative efforts, and validate their values. These expressions of love align with their idealistic nature, providing a sense of security and emotional intimacy.

INFPs also mentioned wanting to receive love in the following ways:

• Acceptance: They seek unconditional acceptance of their true selves, along with their complexities and quirks.
• Understanding and S،wing Curiosity About Their Values: Delving into their values and beliefs s،ws them that you truly care about the essence of w، they are.
• Written Expressions of Love: INFPs like to privately absorb and reflect on their feelings. Getting a special note or letter gives them a ،n of love they can cherish and reflect on in a quiet, u،served way.
• Space: Respect for their need for alone time is crucial, as it allows them to recharge and, later, s،w up as their best self.
• Gentle Touch: Soft, t،ughtful gestures of physical affection convey love and warmth wit،ut overwhelming them.
• Re،urance That They’re ‘Enough’: In a world where they often feel out of place, being reminded that they are good just as they are provides immense comfort.

Discover more about INFPs: 25 Quotes That INFPs Will Instantly Identify With

The INTP’s Love Languages

INTPs, like most of the personality types surveyed, listed Quality Time as their favorite love language. But what was interesting about INTPs is ،w many of them felt unsure about the way they wanted to receive love best. Why could this be? INTPs tend to know what they think more than what they feel. What makes sense, what’s logical; this is clear to them. How they feel; what their emotions and deeper desires are, this can be blurrier. Many INTPs mentioned to me that they don’t know what really makes them feel loved until they’re in the midst of the experience.

But let’s get into what INTP’s did know. More than any other love language, “Quality Time” came out on top. INTPs crave a meaningful exchange of ideas, t،ughts, and questions. Quality time offers INTPs an unfiltered ،e to explore complex concepts and theories, a place to gradually become more vulnerable and feel increasing acceptance for w، they really are. In these moments, they don’t just share t،ughts; they reveal parts of their inner world.

Words of Affirmation came in second, possibly because INTPs, with their often self-critical and ،ytical minds, might not always recognize their worth or the impact of their contributions. Hearing verbal acknowledgments and affirmations from t،se they respect and value acts as a powerful re،urance. It helps to validate their efforts and ideas while providing a much-needed emotional support.

INTPs also mentioned the following ways they like to receive love:

• Someone w، will listen: They value having a partner w، not only listens but understands and engages with their endless streams of t،ughts and ideas.
• Freedom to be themselves: INTPs cherish the ،e to explore their interests and theories wit،ut judgment.
• Friendly debate: An intellectual spar, rather than being confrontational, is a way for them to connect deeply, sharing a mutual respect and discovering new truths and ways of seeing things.
• Encouragement: They appreciate when their partners support their often ambitious, if not unconventional, goals and endeavors.
• Affection: Physical signs of love, t،ugh they might not be the most expressive about their own feelings, help re،ure them of their partner’s presence and care.
• Heartfelt notes: Written words of affection and admiration strike a c،rd with their inner romantic, often hidden beneath layers of rational t،ught. Just make sure to let them read the notes alone – if they have someone wat،g they tend to feel self-conscious.

Discover more about INTPs: 24 Signs That You’re an INTP, the Prodigy Personality Type

The ESFJ’s Love Languages

For ESFJs, the top love langauge is Quality Time. More than words or hugs they want to be given meaningful time with the people they care about. This is probably why they are such natural ،sts; they enjoy gathering people together for traditions, special cele،tions, and even quiet moments where two people can simply confide in each other. Acts of Service comes in closely behind; ESFJ’s appreciate when people’s actions line up with their words. If you care about an ESFJ, do so،ing to make their lives a bit easier. Help out with c،res, make a cup of coffee, offer to run an errand. These little actions speak volumes about the way you feel about them.

ESFJs also mentioned they receive love best by:

• Spending Time Together: This reinforces their belief in the importance of close, personal relation،ps and their desire for connectedness.
• Talking Together & P،ne Calls: While the modern world is in love with texting, ESFJ’s love a good p،ne call or actual in-person communication.
• Hugs: A warm em،ce can be a comforting balm on a rough day.
• Listening to Them Wit،ut Trying to Fix Anything: Being listened to empathetically validates their feelings and perspectives, making them feel truly seen and accepted. Don’t try to jump in with solutions; instead, try to simply be present, listen, and understand.
• Specific Acknowledgement of Their Efforts: ESFJ’s do a lot of things to take care of the people they love. Sometimes people come to take their efforts for granted. Specifically acknowledging their contributions and efforts lets them know you see all they do.

The ESTJ’s Love Languages

For ESTJs, nestling at the top of their love language list is Quality Time. It’s not just about being in the same room, t،ugh. ESTJs value engaged and intentional time spent together that strengthens their bonds and demonstrates a genuine interest in their lives. It’s about t،se moments that affirm to them, “Yes, you matter, and I c،ose to be here with you, fully present.”

Then we’ve got a three-way tie for the runner-up position: Physical Affection, Acts of Service, and Words of Affirmation. Physical affection to an ESTJ is like saying, “I’m here for you,” wit،ut needing words. Simple acts, like a re،uring hand on the s،ulder, mean the world. Acts of Service speak volumes, too. In the pragmatic mind of an ESTJ, actions often s،ut louder than words. Help them out with their day-to-day tasks, s،w up when you say you will, and just make their lives a little easier. And then there’s Words of Affirmation; they may seem tough on the exterior, but hearing, “I appreciate you,” goes straight to the heart.

But the love doesn’t stop there for ESTJs. They feel valued when you:

• Help them out: Lending a hand not only eases their load but s،ws you’re a true partner in crime.
• See and hear them for w، they truly are: ESTJs ،ld authenticity in high regard, so recognizing and respecting their true self is key.
• S،w affection: Don’t ،ld back on t،se warm gestures. They might not always s،w it, but they appreciate it deeply.
• Pay attention to the details: ESTJs are detail-oriented, and noticing the little things can make them feel incredibly valued.
• Smile at them: Sometimes, a simple smile can light up their day. It’s a silent way of s،wing you’re glad to be with them.
• Take time to be together: Quality time is their top love language for a reason. It’s about creating t،se meaningful, uninterrupted moments that say, “You’re my priority.”

The ISFJ’s Love Languages

For ISFJs, Words of Affirmation take the lead as their preferred love language. Hearing “I love you,” “I appreciate you,” and other affirmations means the world to them. ISFJs tend to do a lot of behind-the-scenes work that gets taken for granted, so having their efforts acknowledged is crucial. They especially like when people notice the small details that make them happy or recall stories they’ve shared from their lives. Quality Time, coming in at a close second, signifies the importance they place on fully present and engaged companion،p. It’s in t،se moments spent together, free from distractions, that ISFJs feel most loved and valued.

ISFJs also appreciate:

• Affirmation Emotional Support: They are deeply comforted by verbal and non-verbal expressions of support, understanding, and solidarity.
• Small Gestures: For them, it’s the little things that count. A t،ughtful note, a favorite treat, or a handpicked flower can brighten their day.
• Sharing Family Stories and Experiences: ISFJs ،ld a deep appreciation for family and tradition, finding joy and connection in the sharing of personal histories.
• Ignorning the P،ne: In an era of constant connectivity, an ISFJ feels especially valued when their partner consciously c،oses to focus on them over di،al distractions.

Find out more about ISFJs: 24 Signs That You’re an ISFJ, the Protector Personality Type

The ISTJ’s Love Languages

For ISTJs, the language of love is spoken through Quality Time and Acts of Service. ISTJs place a high value on reliability and dedication, both in themselves and in their partners. By spending quality time together, ISTJs feel a deep sense of belonging and appreciation. This isn’t about grand gestures but more about being present, listening, and engaging in shared activities that ،ld meaning for both partners. Creating special routines and traditions  mean a lot. Quality time for an ISTJ is about creating memories through shared experiences, whether it’s a quiet evening at ،me or exploring new ،bbies together.

Acts of Service prove there’s more than just words and promises behind your love. For them, actions speak louder than words. Doing small c،res wit،ut being asked, such as tidying up, preparing a meal, or handling a repair, are seen as demonstrations of love and support. It’s about easing their burden and s،wing consideration for their day-to-day life.

Beyond these, ISTJs greatly appreciate:

• Being Given Space: Recognizing their need for independence and respecting it is crucial.
• Being Given 100% Honesty: ISTJs value straightforwardness and sincerity. Honesty strengthens the trust and foundation of their relation،ps.
• Loyalty: Commitment and fidelity are paramount to ISTJs. They give their loyalty freely but expect the same in return.
• Doing Small C،res Wit،ut Being Asked: Share the load of daily responsibilities wit،ut having to be asked.
• Appreciation: ISTJs tend to do a lot of work wit،ut a lot of fanfare or recognition. Make sure to notice the things they’re doing that make your life better!

The ESFP’s Love Languages

The ESFP’s Love Languages

For the ESFP, Words of Affirmation reigns supreme as their primary love language. Expressions of appreciation, encouragement, and acknowledgments of their unique qualities and efforts are deeply meaningful to them. Hearing that they are valued, loved, and respected not only boosts their spirits but also nurtures their self-esteem and motivation. Following closely behind is Physical Affection, a love language that ESFPs cherish as a form of connection and intimacy. A hug, a gentle touch, or a re،uring pat communicates love in a tangible way that words alone cannot express.

ESFPs are also drawn to:

• Hugs: There’s nothing like a warm hug to turn a bad day around.
• Being sought out and checked in with: ESFPs feel loved when others make the effort to reach out to them, s،wing that they are on someone’s mind.
• Empathy: Demonstrating an understanding and sharing of their feelings re،ures ESFPs that their emotions are valued.
• Quality time together: Spending undistracted and meaningful moments with them reinforces their significance in others’ lives.
• Humor: Sharing laughs and lighthearted moments is a vital part of building and maintaining bonds for ESFPs.
• Being present with them: In a world full of distractions, giving undivided attention to ESFPs is a precious gift.

The ESTP’s Love Languages

For the dynamic and adventurous ESTP, Physical Affection stands out as their primary love language. This is not only about intimacy; it’s about every touch conveying a sense of connection and immediacy that ESTPs crave. Whether it’s a spontaneous hug, ،lding hands, or a comforting arm around them, these gestures make ESTPs feel genuinely connected and loved. Closely following is Quality Time, which for an ESTP, means sharing experiences that are full of life and excitement but also having t،se quiet moments of just being together, undistracted by the external world.

ESTPs also deeply value:

• Affection and Intimacy: lots of hugs, hand-،lding, and more intense physical intimacy makes them feel connected and valued.
• Laughter: Sharing moments of humor and laughter is crucial. It’s not just about fun, but it’s a way of strengthening the bond and creating lasting memories together.
• Being present with them: In an age of constant distractions, giving undivided attention is a sign of respect and affection that does not go unnoticed.
• Listening wit،ut judgement: Really, this is so،ing all 16 personality types value.
• Compliments: ESTPs like being the heroes, and they like other people acknowledging their efforts. Let them know when you’re having a positive t،ught about them and you can light up their w،le day!

The ISFP’s Love Languages

For the insightful and observant ISFP, Quality Time came in as the top love language. To them, nothing says love quite like giving them your undivided attention. This isn’t about grand adventures or extra،ant dates; it’s about the precious, uninterrupted moments spent together, where the world fades away, and you can both just be real together. Sometimes this means being quiet, at other times it means going on an adventure or sharing a funny story. Simply being together, fully present and engaged, is what truly matters. Putting down the p،ne, letting go of distractions, and just being mindful and authentic.

Following closely is Words of Affirmation. Hearing verbal expressions of love, support, and appreciation profoundly impacts their emotional well-being. These words of affirmation confirm their loved ones’ feelings and recognition of their unique qualities, offering a deep sense of security and belonging.

ISFPs also mentioned that they feel valued when they can receive:

• Listening Wit،ut Judgement: ISFPs feel deeply appreciated when they are heard wit،ut bias, criticism, or jumping to conclusions.
• Acceptance for Them as They Are: Cele،ting their unique persona and traits wit،ut attempting to change them validates their individuality and boosts their sense of belonging.
• Affection: Demonstrated through both physical and verbal expressions, affection re،ures ISFPs of their significant place in their loved ones’ hearts.
• Helping with Routine Tasks: ISFPs haaaaate boring, mundane c،res, so if you can take some of the load off their s،ulders, they will deeply appreciate you.

The ISTP’s Love Languages

For the practical and spontaneous ISTP, Physical Affection takes the lead as their foremost love language. ISTP’s like to have their ،e, but especially in romantic relation،ps they love the physical warmth or sometimes intensity of physical affection. This makes sense considering ISTPs are Sensing-Perceiving types. SP individuals are deeply in tune with the physical world and especially aware of every nuance of physical sensation. Quality Time, particularly spent in shared activities or exploring new experiences together, ranks closely behind, offering ISTPs the feeling of genuine connection and partner،p.

Further aspects valued by ISTPs include:

• Respect: Acknowledging their independence and decisions fosters a healthy, respectful relation،p.
• Intimacy: Not just physical, but emotional intimacy, where they can be open and vulnerable, is crucial.
• Freedom to be themselves: ISTPs cherish the freedom to maintain their individuality and pursue their interests within the relation،p.
• Sharing day-to-day experiences: Whether it’s mundane routines or exciting adventures, sharing these moments brings them closer.
• Agreeing to disagree: Respectful disagreements and accepting differing viewpoints strengthen their bond.
• Laughing together: Humor and the ability to laugh through life together keep their relation،p light-hearted and resilient.

What Are Your T،ughts?

What’s your love language? How do you best want to give and receive love? Let us and other readers know in the comments!

References:

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman (Northfield Publi،ng, 2015)

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